Absent Minded Ambition
Labels:
ambition,
engineering,
software
I don't have any drive anymore. There's a slight ambition tugging at me, struggling to pull me through each day, but with my mind elsewhere most of the time. Its as if that excitement I used to get from completing pieces of software and seeing them work has lost its lustre. Its still exciting, its just that I don't care anymore. I've seen it before, I know things will work if I work hard enough to get them working. It isn't enough anymore for me to just see code come to life and function. I need more than that. And I don't know what that something more is.
4 comments:
I'm slipping a tad into that phase as well. Though in my case it's not as severe. I mean after writing my new class and completing 22 JUnit test cases I was giddy.
HOWEVER!
What still interests you and is it still related to programming?
(I'm not just asking because I'm taking two of the hardest project courses with a partner that is losing motivation. =P)
Is it because of the role?
I mean if you were an architect would you still feel the same way? The role that you're describing doesn't seem as though you're at ends with the work but the type of work. You're working on vapourware because you have to. It's not your baby project and your design decisions are for completion and nothing more.
i think you need to try moving around to see what you like.
I remember my manager from Silicon Optix saying that work usually is like a blend of 20/80. 20% is new, interesting or enjoyable, while the other 80% is tedious, reptitive, or stuff you have done before or have to do for the greater good.
So whats that have to do with moving around? well try doing the same thing you do now but in a different industry..
one thing that i'm finding is that its hard to find the perfect job.. its like people, your friends arent necessarily people you like, they might just be the people you hate the least.. similarly, find a nice job that can keep satisfied..
lol.. did i just say that?.. /sigh look at what waterloo has done to me =/
I am currently architecting and implementing the feature I've been assigned to add to our product. Honestly, on this particular software project, I like this role less than a code monkey position where I'd blissfully get things working without caring about design.
But it must be this particular product, because at school I enjoy the programming assignments I'm given. Don't worry Rob, compilers will rock. I've got motivation coming out my ears for that.
I could try moving around. Its hard to find something obviously interesting to work on, before anyone else snatches the opportunity. I think I'd like to go do volunteer work for a year or two somewhere outside of north america after I'm done school. Get away from this office life, use my hands for physical labours. Maybe work up to a position where I can help plan out better infrastructures for developing countries (on a community by community basis).
Hm...perhaps you should go on a "missions trip" with EMI or something. Although you're technically not an Engineer, but it's definitely something to look into. I'm sure they could use your help one way or another. :)
I love my job not b/c of the work itself (although it is very exciting) but it's b/c at the end of the day, I know my product is impacting lives and helping ppl in real ways. Maybe you just need to find a job that will allow you to do that. I'm not sure if what your working on at Sony is directly helping people in the way you hope to...
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